July 24, 2017
20:05
Happy

Happy

 

I just want to be happy I hear him say

I don’t get involved, I have my own problems

But he pleads more than tells me this time

A drink in one hand, a Bible in the other

So I listen and don’t walk away as others do

He tells me a sad story, it really is

And I want to tell him mine, I really do

But he doesn’t listen just because he stops talking

Taking a breath and drink together saves time

And I can’t help but think of the rope in my bag

And how happy I will be in a little while

Swinging in a tree like I did when I was a kid

Well sort of

20:27
Pushed

Pushed

Go up there and get your award

And smile don’t forget to smile

Your mother says as she pushes you forward

And you would rather be anywhere else

But you go and stand up there

And you smile a silly smile

And now as you look back on the memory of that

Waiting for a new award for work this time

And smiling as you are pushed by your wife’s urges

And not your mothers

Smiling because you have a gun at home

 

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20:50
Break

Break

I really hope she gets better soon

This hospital, call it what it is Asylum

Is way too sterile, way too cold, way too not my Little Sister

The break from reality came quickly when it happened

But even now there are some good days

When she recognises me and smiles

Or so the doctor says

To tell you the truth I’m getting sick of all the visits

But I must go she would do the same for me

My door’s stuck and what are these bars on my window

Oh shit

 

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20:52
Broken

Broken

Can a heart mend that has been broken

How does a wound heal, is it magic

The best doctors cannot explain adequately

Why a toenail regrows but a tooth doesn’t

Does a heart have a memory or feelings

Scholars more learned than I will tell you

Without a doubt yes while others no

This is what I know and this is all

My heart cries out to feel like it did

When I first met her and not when it ended

It will happen again I have no fear

But I would say not in my lifetime my dear

 

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20:54
Cry

Cry

What if I told you who I truly am, the real me

Would it make you like me more or less

Underneath all the toughness and false bravado

This is who I am and it’s not pretty

I am a small boy lost and afraid and insecure

In my room late at night when the lights are out

Alone with nothing but my own thoughts and fears

I curl up in the foetal position and cry like a baby

Not for myself but for the injustice in the world

I cry out to Jesus to make it right, because I can’t

I’m sorry if I am a disappointment to you

 

 

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20:55
Dinner

Dinner

I don’t know if you remember me

We met the other day at the supermarket

I was the one with all the TV dinners

And you said, It’s a bit like that isn’t it?

And I just looked at you and walked off

What I meant to say was this, I’m a bit shy you know

It really is and how are you? My name is John

And would you like to grab a coffee I’ve got time

Or we could stay in and you could cook for me

Oh where’s my manners

I should close your front door first, shouldn’t I?

 

21:09
Gone

Gone

She was smiling as she drove away

And I watched until she was gone from my sight

No longer a part of my life, I didn’t know it then

She was so very excited to go

The journey wasn’t what she expected, not at all

And as she passed from this place to the next

A new friend watched her come into sight

And welcomed her with open arms

And a warm embrace

And that’s when I said my silent goodbye

And cried

 

21:16
Kids

Kids

I really like kids I believe in them

Their honesty their innocence

Kids are our future we need to love and nurture them

I’m not married and I have no kids of my own

Probably never will and that’s a real shame

Cause I know I would make a brilliant Dad

Taking them to soccer and reading bedtime stories

Stuff like that

Here comes a little one now I might take him for a ride

And we might go to Maccas if he doesn’t scream too much

Like the last one did

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21:17
Perve

Perve

She was lying more than sitting her legs slightly open

On the train asleep and alone late at night

And if you sat in the next seat, with your head tilted so

You could see her blue panties

And I suppose if you waited long enough you’d see more

But what struck me was her face

She was stunning, like an image from a fancy magazine

Words can't do her justice but gorgeous comes close

But she was not my gorgeous

So I moved three seats back

And made sure no one like me sat across from her

 

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21:19
Surprise

Surprise

What’s that red stuff on my shoe

It looks like beetroo… oh damn its blood

And how’d that get there

I must have really tied one on

Got to remember not to drink so much

20 years inside does that to a man

She was some hot dish that one

What’s her name ah geez I’m not so good with names

The showers running she must be still in there

I’ll surprise her, watch this SURPRISE

Oh shit not again

 

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21:22
Fishing

Fishing

The last time I saw her she was still alive

I don’t know anything about a knife

We did go out for a little while it didn’t work out

She wasn’t too good for me that’s not right

I went on a fishing trip I was out all night

It was too damned cold never caught a thing

It’s my tackle bag for fishing okay

It’s a knife for gutting fish

That blood’s from the fish I caught or didn’t caught

That’s just what they say on TV no such thing as DNA

Geez too many questions can I go now

 


All stories © Mark Oliver